3 MORE DAYS UNTIL XMAS!!!!

After my last post I thought I would try and tone it down a little for the holidays. Make no mistake in 2007 I will bring the noize somehow, someway. But before I do that I would like to take this chance and this space to say thanks to my friends and family on this most merry of seasons. John, my friend, I am glad you are my homey, my man, and my bro. You may not see it in yourself sometimes but I see it in you ALL the time. Ryan, my other bro, you know so damn much and really are someone that I trust with my life. I may not act like I listen to you but I think I put up a fight because it hurts sometimes to think you know so much more than I do and I am the one that is older. Kevin McElwain...Dude...I am very lucky to have met you. You may work for IKON but I won't hold that against you. I could sit and talk with you all day about anything and everything. Christy Watts, my special friend, the people above are special but none of them can say they go back like you and I go back. I have known you almost 25 years...whoa are we getting old or what???!!! I can't tell you what it feels like to know that I have someone out there that is always there and always has been. I may drift a little and may get off the path but I always know you are there throwing out the lifeline for me. I am proud of our friendship. On that note.......I may not get another post in before 2007 so I say to 2006....you provided me a lot of laughs and a lot of stress too but most of all you provided me the opportunity to just be what I am. Merry Xmas everybody!!!!

Random Thoughts

I was just wandering around and thought this might be the perfect time to spew about some random thoughts that have been cascading around in the black hole that is my mind. So here goes:

--Why do people tap you and say excuse me at the same time? Wouldn't you think that one or the other is more than enough to get someone's attention? I have to admit when some one does that to me I want to turn and put a hole in their head where their face used to reside.

--This one is because of Darrin Sardineer--Have you ever asked someone did they remember a particular event and they say yes and then when you ask them what transpired they go "I DON'T KNOW?????" Okay, let's figure out what went wrong. You said you remembered the event but don't know what when on during the event. Sure you don't....or in Darrin's case maybe you don't remember...

--Ever walk into a room and someone says you got a phone call....Great, who was it??? I don't know....why bother opening your pie hole and telling me I got the call in the first place then....I am sure I am going to call that person and say, "Heard you called, but I don't have a damn clue as to what you wanted!!!!" "By the way, I am an asshole..."

--Did you ever think that the person that tells you, "you know that grass isn't always greener on the other side..." needs slapped really hard across their face. Who is that person to talk to you about grass, sides, or talk to you in general?

--How about the person that goes to McDonalds and gets 17 Big Macs and 13 Large Fries and then orders a diet coke? Someone really needs to tell the next person they have a problem relating to the real world. That diet coke ain't going to do a damn thing except drip all over your fat face...

--Why do women go out and spend tons of money on clothes and THEN ask you if they look alrite in them? Sure I want to buy the car first and then see it for the first time when I get in it. Then you wonder why a man's relationship with a remote control is deeper than the one with his partner. It only does what we want it to and doesn't ask questions....

--Women, Blame God for you having to go thru Labor...If I wanted to try and pass a watermelon thru me I would have put it there in the first place. Plus, please don't use that analogy again. I like Watermelon and don't need that ruined for me by using the labor imagery.

--Men, don't lie to your lady....They are smarter than you....we are cavemen, not thinkers...plus the conversations she had with her friends growing up had more to do with real things and not whether The Transformers could ever happen? They are more prepared for life...that is why they give it....and ladies after dealing with men all of your life would you really want them carrying your child anyway???

--And last but not least.....Menopause is not a button on the VCR!!!!!!

The Beatles

The great thing about this blog is the fact that I can write about whatever I want to, whenever I want to. Tonite, I wanted to spend some time writing about something that is near and dear to my heart. The Beatles. I am sitting here right at this very minute listening to them. Specifically, "She Loves You", which I believe is the greatest pop song of all time. I grew up with The Beatles and as I have gotten older I think that my kids someday and kids of today will never get to experience what my parents did. You see The Beatles changed music and created something that can never be duplicated. If you ever run into anyone that says they have not heard a Beatle song you should turn and run because that person is not from Earth. I can say from experience though what it feels like to hear Beatle music up close. I have seen Paul Mccartney twice in the last 4 years. Both times I have left the City of Pittsburgh to do it. The first time I went to Cleveland, Ohio to see him. The second time I went to Philadelphia, Pa. to see him. I dropped the gauntlet and have promised that if he is in my time zone I will find a way to see him. Anyway, when I was in Cleveland, Mr. Mccartney opened with a great song in Hello, Goodbye. It was what he played third though that showed me the true power of great music. See he jumped into All My Loving and guess what!!!??? I was like all of those black and white videos you are used to seeing. I started bawling like a baby. It was truly a great moment because I looked around and a lot of others were crying along with me. Fast Forward 3 years later in Philadelphia and at the end of another truly mesmerizing performance, Mr. Mccartney pulled out Please, Please Me. Again, the tears started down my face and on top of that you could actually hear me gasp because all of the air was taken out of my lungs. Why am I telling you all this??? Well because I felt like it and I want the day to come when I pass on to know that The Beatles and their legacy will be passed on and forever cemented in history.

Christmas is here!!!!

I
know it is still technically November but Xmas is here and I can't wait for Santa. If you can't tell I love Christmas and all the trimmings that go with it. I remember when I was in my early twenties I never had the Xmas fever. I didn't listen to the holiday music, didn't decorate and pretty much was not into the holiday at all. Oh man is that different now. I can't have Christmas without Elvis' Blue Christmas or Burl Ives' Holly Jolly Christmas. The day after Thanksgiving I started the decorations. I love the holidays and I how good I feel during this holiday season. It truly is the most wonderful time of the year. I love Santa and I love being with family and friends and celebrating the birth of my savior Jesus. How lucky are we?????!!!!! I just wanted to say Happy Holidays to you and yours...and to one person in particular Christy Watts, please don't worry for me I have never been better. I am blessed that you think of me and keep me in your thoughts. Yes, I was having some struggles but the sun always shines thru the rain. I am so lucky to call you my friend. Thank you.

New Computer Issues

Have you ever noticed how easy it is to manuever thru your computer when you don't have to install it. Well the cooling fan on my computer went in the toilet and so I had to get another computer. Well let me tell you...I am on hour number 7 trying to get this thing up and running. It has been very frustrating but I think I am getting close to the end so there might be light at the end of the tunnel. Thankfully the holidays are coming up and may the gorging on great food begin. Just remember that when you hear someone at your table belching like some wild animal it is not bad manners just the soundtrack to good food. Be proud of yourself and make sure you wear the expandable waste pants. Happy Thanksgiving everybody!!!

Sorry for the long delay

I was just cruising by here this morning and saw that I have not posted since october.....I haven't been all that busy but I guess I could have stopped by and updated this. The cold weather is firmly here. For those of you that live in warm weather, I hate you. Lately things have been mellowed out a bit. I feel like I am finally getting back on my feet from all the stuff that went out before. It was a struggle and sometimes still is but I feel like I can be somewhat normal again. The key is to find the positive lesson to take out of each experience. I still have wishes about how things could have turned out but it is not practical to try and reconcile those into reality without the help of the other party. Things don't always go your way but you have to see that things happen for a reason at that moment and were designed to happen at that exact moment. That is enough for me. The holiday seasons are now upon us and I can say I am sooo ready for it. I love this season and the holidays that come with it....I love the lights, the songs, the everything. It truly is the most wonderful time of the year. I hope everybody feels the same way I do. If you don't you need to get on that feeling train. It truly is a magical time. See you soon!

Halloween and the movie of the same name

How many of you luv Halloween...Man, I do...I used to love to dress up and get the candy...Now, I love to see the younger kids getting together and searching after their own treasure house. You know the one that has the best of the best candy and they don't care how much you take. I love that stuff. One of my other loves is the movie of the same name...a certifiable classic. It is the ultimate spookshow. I was never a big fan of those horror movies that had all of that bloody gore in them. It always seemed like it was too easy to resort to that. Ahhhh but Halloween was different. Sure it had a spooky killer but what made him so spooky was that he was just a human. On top of that he had no emotions and no features to speak of. I loved the way that John Carpenter made the buildup of the scare more important than the scare itself. I loved the use of lighting to dramatize an entrance or the way the lighting creates a scary silouhette of the shape. I also love the fact that the movie was an homage to the films that preceded it. Psycho, Nite of the Living Dead. I know that most people see these things as just dumb spook flicks but just remember there would be no Scream or The Blair Witch Project without it. So when next Tuesday rolls around I suggest when all of the kids go to bed that you dim all of the lites and put on an original version of John Carpenter's masterpiece and allow yourself to be scared out of your wit without being grossed out. It will scare the enjoyment out of you....Happy Halloween!!!!

Fall Weather

Well, October is upon us and so is fall....Recently, in the last few days, the weather has been really nice and warm and sunny. Not anymore. It feels more like winter is blowing in more than fall. The great thing about fall is the vibrant colors of the leaves and the way the cool air kind of tickles your lungs. And let's not forget about the football weather. Oh baby!!! Penn State vs. Michigan...what can get better than that. Let's hope our luck has gotten better than our performance at Notre Dame and Ohio State. Lately, I have struggled with the tragic deaths of people that were very close to me. I have struggled to understand why things happen, and why they happen to certain people. I wonder why God makes things this way. I have started to see though that the people that have passed on in this life are the lucky ones because they have become a foot soldier in God's army. What can be a better calling than that?! I still grieve for those that are gone and I grieve for the people that have not passed on but have left my life. All of these people hold a place of honor in my house and at my table. They all touched my life in some special way. For those, that have left my life I am so sorry to see you go...and I miss you soo much...but I understand you have a path to follow and a journey separate from mine. I wish we could be together but in life we don't pick the challenges, we only face them.

What is Life

You know sometimes I wish I could be a real hard ass and be one of those people that really could put up a stink and when they walk into the room people feared what they might do. I do not happen to be one of those people. I am one of those people that always try to see "outside of the box". I often times care so much about what others are thinking that I don't stop to think of what it would feel like if I actually cared about something. I know that sounds weird but if you think about it there really are two different types of people. Those that only care for themselves and those that care about others so much they forget to take care of themselves. Guess what type I am? You got it. I care so much about others that I often times bury my own emotions and wants so deep that I forget about what it is I actually care about. I know that sounds stupid and hard to do but I have mastered that feat pretty well....I am not feeling sorry for myself because God gives all of us a gift and a place on this earth. It is up to us to find that niche. I think I was put here to be the person that cares unconditionally and never asks for anything in return. That is not a bad thing. It is a good thing. Along the way you find that just being who you are is enough and when it feels like it is not enough...IT IS!!!! We only live once....I guess we should live it like it was going to end tomorrow.....I know I am trying to do that.....Wish me luck....

Emotions and The Way They Can Be Used

You know I have had a little time, okay a lot of time to think lately about emotions. I think they are a great thing. Every one should be in touch with them and should understand what role they play in their own life. But lately another thought has popped into my head about emotions. They can be used or they can be misleading. You see emotions are something that in reality should be kept in some sort of check. By that I mean emotions should not be used as a reasoning to act out or force some one to act a certain way. I have been guilty far too many times of acting out of total emotion and no thought. Jeez, my whole teen and college years I spent shooting off the handle and of course my mouth before I even took a second to really realize what the hell was going on. I also recognize that emotions can be a way to manipulate others into believing somethings that might not be. I have been guilty of playing up an emotion to emote a certain response. The one thing I have learned is that emotions are real and should never be used as an excuse or a reason to force someone into something. I love my emotions and god I hope I never am that stupid to ever forget how important they truly are.

The Post Of Immortals

After September 11th I wanted to let that post kind of settle in before I moved on and moved back to the normal progression of life. Tonite is the Steelers vs. the Jag-offs, er I mean the Jaguars. One of the more unique things that I have seen is Steeler fans and the way that they are everywhere. It is one of the truly great things about living in Pittsburgh. You can go anywhere in the country and if you are wearing Steeler gear of any kind someone will say to you either, "Go Steelers, or are you from Pittsburgh?" It is a truly weird but unique situation. When times are tough people look for a commonality amongst each other. The Steeler Nation seems to be that for Pittsburgh. It doesn't matter what is going on in our city as soon as the mention of the Steelers hits somebody's tongue every mood seems to get a little better. People say things like football are just a game and nothing more but I beg to differ. Sports allows people to congregate on a mass level. It gives people the ability to put aside all of their differences, both physical and philosophical and meet at that special place. Just watch Monday Nite Football tonite and you will see what I am talking about. Watch how many Steeler fans will be in Jacksonville. Mark my words. Go Steelers!!!

September 11, 2001-2006

Often times I find myself sitting and thinking about my life and the things I have seen and some of the things I have not. One thing in my life seems to cover both of those. September 11, 2001. How can any of us forget? I remember. And after 5 years I guess it is high time I make some admissions of my own. Some I may not be so proud of. You see 5 years ago I was a know it all. Somebody that thought I had my finger on all that was going on. I wasn't much of a patriot and even more so I wasn't much of a man either. I had gotten so wrapped up in myself and what I thought my life should be that I forgot that life is bigger and scarier and sadder and happier than anything my pea brain could wrap itself around. Yet, something started to change in me and it started with a baseball game. I know, I know... it is a game but that nite is something that will forever change me. You see baseball and all sports had shut down until the country had a chance to try and understand what had happened. But like all things, the show and games must go on. My dad and I went to the Pittsburgh Pirates/New York Mets game. Most of the people that know me know that I spent the better part of my teenage years and early twenties choosing not to get along with my father. That nite though as we stood there at the game that was probably only attended by 5000 or so people I found myself starting to see outside of my own world. When they started to sing God Bless America, I started to feel the ice around my heart starting to melt both towards my country and towards my father. I turned to him and saw something I have only maybe seen 3 times in my life, my father crying. At almost that exact moment I received a call from an absent part of my life. Her voice was still quivering over the events of the past week but to me she provided me a resolve and a strength that I don't think I had until that moment. All of a sudden I realized that out of great tragedy can come great triumph. That day I felt reborn. Every story from September 11th has it's own tagline and I realize that every one of those stories, regardless if they are about people searching for brothers and sisters or like mine, have something that is important to the fabric of us. I know the deep and profound effect it had on me and still has to this day. My life has never been the same probably like most. That day represented a rebirth for me. I justed wanted to say two things that I should have said a long time ago....I love my country....and DAD, I love you....More than you will ever know. My relationship with you is the great gift from that day. God Bless all of you, Bless each other. Joyce, thank you for being that voice that day. I learned what it takes to be a man and what it takes to see outside of myself and your strength that nite helped guide that. I will forever be changed because of it.

Feeling a little blue

Well Penn State got slaughetered by Notre Dame...I can admit it...I didn't see it coming but I can admit it. That really sucks. I hate having to admit things. But just like life things keep going on. Just when you think that the water may smooth out, they get real choppy again. I know myself and know that I am probably the biggest enemy of me. I internalize things and I don't share when I need to. Sometimes when I hurt I keep it inside instead of reaching out and asking for help. Hopefully, Penn State will see the sense in purging your hurt feelings and then moving on. I guess moving on is the hardest thing that one can do. I know we have to but sometimes it is very tough. Life has a way of reminding you why it is hard. There are complications and laughs at every turn. I will keep rooting for you guys and keep rooting for myself because no one will feel sorry for either of us.

Our Friend The Mayor

Today is a tough day....Our great city of Pittsburgh lost it's mayor over the weekend. Most importantly though it lost it's best friend and biggest supporter. Being a native of this city it has been tough the last couple of years to be a part of it's continual decline. How many cities do you know almost go bankrupt? The previous administrations all promised grand things but delivered none. As it stood our great city emptied out and became a gateway to other places. Then in January OUR mayor took office and the tangible effect was almost immediate. Those that know me best know that I spent the better part of my life a card carrying republican but there was something different about this man. I didn't care if he was a democrat, republican or a martian. I got caught up in the way he spoke of better days and how great this city was and can be again. Now....Our great leader has gone on to lead the charges in heaven. Oh how the angels must be celebrating!!!!! Walking around Pittsburgh today was different. You could feel the difference. It was as if the hope that the city was building had disappeared. I felt it too. To our mayor...Thank you for believing in us when we didn't believe. Thank you for seeing what we could not. But most importantly thank you for just being you...THAT WAS ALWAYS ENOUGH!!!!

The Big Farewell

So I finally made it....I made it to the end of my stay at IKON. What can I say? In some ways I am thrilled to be going to my new job and starting on what hopes to be my life's work. In other ways as you can see by this picture this was a tough decision. This was MY TEAM...the one I help build from the ground up and that will always be special to me. Most importantly though I am thankful for all of the people that came Friday nite and were apart of my last nite at IKON. Your presence was certainly welcome and will never be forgotten. I love all you guys and gals in so many different ways. Annie, what can I say to the person that trained me. I am thankful. I go nowhere with out your guidance. Tracy girl....Five years ago we started off barely talking and now you are my sister(as well as Cody). I never had a sister and now I have two. Robbin...my boo....you are so real and caring it makes me feel good just being around you. Justin, I wish I could tell you what your friendship and loyalty has meant to me. You kept me grounded and the mornings at the New Delhi Deli will be something I miss the most. George, you are a great friend and someone that has his heart always in the right place. I am proud of you. Lateka, my 5-6 buddy, we shared a whole lot and working until 6 everynite just didn't seem to be so bad. Post that on my space!!!!! Jack and Darrin....sounds like a mellencamp song. I am very lucky to have called you my teammates but even more lucky to call you my friends.

Finally....Ryan....my friend, my brother, my sounding board for all things good and not so good in my life. I have met a lot of people but not one can claim to have anything on you. You are truly an inspiring person to be around. I hope to someday be half the person you are right now. I have a goal to shoot for now!!!!!

God Bless all of you!!!!

The Lameness of it All

So I am hanging out with some friends last nite and my brother and he tells me his car is acting all crazee. So around 11:30
at nite we go out for a drive to hear this crazee noise. I hear a sound lo and behold that sounds like a flat tire. My brother
then takes his car to the shop to be looked at thinking that something is really wrong. Needless to say there wasn't!!!
Some lame ass kid who works for him decided to loosen the lug nuts on his tire. I just want to say that we have reached a
real dumb ass stage in our culture that we can't find anything else better to do than loosen lug nuts on a tire. So for
whoever did this out there...I am calling you out as a moron and really think you need to get a life....

Happy Birthday to Me

You know this week I had the opportunity to live thru another year and get to my Birthday. I happened to turn 33 and let me tell you I feel fine. One thing I can say is that I am really blessed. I have a lot of people that are in my life or somehow related to my life that really made me feel pretty damn good on my big day. Oddly enough though I find it out that I celebrate a day that my mother did all the work on. I just showed up. My mom did everything. So since I don't say it probably nearly enough...THANKS MOM...YOU'RE THE BEST....YOU GAVE ME LIFE AND ASKE FOR NOTHING IN RETURN