September 11, 2001-2006

Often times I find myself sitting and thinking about my life and the things I have seen and some of the things I have not. One thing in my life seems to cover both of those. September 11, 2001. How can any of us forget? I remember. And after 5 years I guess it is high time I make some admissions of my own. Some I may not be so proud of. You see 5 years ago I was a know it all. Somebody that thought I had my finger on all that was going on. I wasn't much of a patriot and even more so I wasn't much of a man either. I had gotten so wrapped up in myself and what I thought my life should be that I forgot that life is bigger and scarier and sadder and happier than anything my pea brain could wrap itself around. Yet, something started to change in me and it started with a baseball game. I know, I know... it is a game but that nite is something that will forever change me. You see baseball and all sports had shut down until the country had a chance to try and understand what had happened. But like all things, the show and games must go on. My dad and I went to the Pittsburgh Pirates/New York Mets game. Most of the people that know me know that I spent the better part of my teenage years and early twenties choosing not to get along with my father. That nite though as we stood there at the game that was probably only attended by 5000 or so people I found myself starting to see outside of my own world. When they started to sing God Bless America, I started to feel the ice around my heart starting to melt both towards my country and towards my father. I turned to him and saw something I have only maybe seen 3 times in my life, my father crying. At almost that exact moment I received a call from an absent part of my life. Her voice was still quivering over the events of the past week but to me she provided me a resolve and a strength that I don't think I had until that moment. All of a sudden I realized that out of great tragedy can come great triumph. That day I felt reborn. Every story from September 11th has it's own tagline and I realize that every one of those stories, regardless if they are about people searching for brothers and sisters or like mine, have something that is important to the fabric of us. I know the deep and profound effect it had on me and still has to this day. My life has never been the same probably like most. That day represented a rebirth for me. I justed wanted to say two things that I should have said a long time ago....I love my country....and DAD, I love you....More than you will ever know. My relationship with you is the great gift from that day. God Bless all of you, Bless each other. Joyce, thank you for being that voice that day. I learned what it takes to be a man and what it takes to see outside of myself and your strength that nite helped guide that. I will forever be changed because of it.