Random Thoughts

I was just wandering around and thought this might be the perfect time to spew about some random thoughts that have been cascading around in the black hole that is my mind. So here goes:

--Why do people tap you and say excuse me at the same time? Wouldn't you think that one or the other is more than enough to get someone's attention? I have to admit when some one does that to me I want to turn and put a hole in their head where their face used to reside.

--This one is because of Darrin Sardineer--Have you ever asked someone did they remember a particular event and they say yes and then when you ask them what transpired they go "I DON'T KNOW?????" Okay, let's figure out what went wrong. You said you remembered the event but don't know what when on during the event. Sure you don't....or in Darrin's case maybe you don't remember...

--Ever walk into a room and someone says you got a phone call....Great, who was it??? I don't know....why bother opening your pie hole and telling me I got the call in the first place then....I am sure I am going to call that person and say, "Heard you called, but I don't have a damn clue as to what you wanted!!!!" "By the way, I am an asshole..."

--Did you ever think that the person that tells you, "you know that grass isn't always greener on the other side..." needs slapped really hard across their face. Who is that person to talk to you about grass, sides, or talk to you in general?

--How about the person that goes to McDonalds and gets 17 Big Macs and 13 Large Fries and then orders a diet coke? Someone really needs to tell the next person they have a problem relating to the real world. That diet coke ain't going to do a damn thing except drip all over your fat face...

--Why do women go out and spend tons of money on clothes and THEN ask you if they look alrite in them? Sure I want to buy the car first and then see it for the first time when I get in it. Then you wonder why a man's relationship with a remote control is deeper than the one with his partner. It only does what we want it to and doesn't ask questions....

--Women, Blame God for you having to go thru Labor...If I wanted to try and pass a watermelon thru me I would have put it there in the first place. Plus, please don't use that analogy again. I like Watermelon and don't need that ruined for me by using the labor imagery.

--Men, don't lie to your lady....They are smarter than you....we are cavemen, not thinkers...plus the conversations she had with her friends growing up had more to do with real things and not whether The Transformers could ever happen? They are more prepared for life...that is why they give it....and ladies after dealing with men all of your life would you really want them carrying your child anyway???

--And last but not least.....Menopause is not a button on the VCR!!!!!!